


After the Flames

by IraBragi



Series: Workings of a Small Town [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bobby and Ellen kicking ass as parents, Bobby raises the boys - AU, Child abuse and aftermath, F/M, Family Don't End in Blood, Gen, Minor Character Death, Talk of Suicide, back story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 19:56:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10225949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IraBragi/pseuds/IraBragi
Summary: When he drove up the long winding driveway and saw that the Impala was gone Bobby knew in his gut that it was going to be bad.  The same way that he knew when a suspect was going to run, when that husband was more that just drunk and he needed to pull the wife aside and ask what really happened.  John was gone, the boys were gone, and the sawed off shot gun was gone.Bobby wasn't a religious man but as he sat on that porch he prayed.





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: I want to be clear about the “minor character death” and “talk of suicide” tags. The deaths involved are Marry Winchester, Karen Singer, and Ellen's husband. At the end of the story it is implied that John Winchester may have committed suicide although the characters are unsure what has actually happened. This story has John Winchester in it so it's no big surprise that child abuse as well as alcoholism are involved.

Bobby -

When he drove up the long winding driveway and saw that the Impala was gone Bobby knew in his gut that it was going to be bad. The same way that he knew when a suspect was going to run, when that husband was more that just drunk and he needed to pull the wife aside and ask what really happened, the way he knew that – no matter what anyone told him – it really was his fault that she had died. John was gone, the boys were gone, and the sawed off shot gun was gone.

Bobby wasn't a religious man but as he sat on that porch he prayed.

Bobby Singer and John Winchester had been partners on the Lawrence police force ever since John was the green rookie that Bobby was showing the ropes. Fresh from the army, with a smile that had half the town girls falling in love and good head on his shoulders, the two had made a solid team. Bobby had been the best man when John and Marry exchanged their vows and he would never admit to crying when they named him godfather to both Dean and Sam. He figured that he made a pretty lousy godfather but lately he found that he didn't have much of a choice.

When Marry died John had aged 30 years overnight. Lawrence was a tight knit community and people had tried to be there for him and the boys but John had shoved everyone away. He moved the boys to a small cabin outside of town and started talking about how he was “going to find it.” “It.” The yellow eyed monster that stole his Mary away. There had always been stories about monsters in the mountains, heck, he's seen his share of things out of the corner of his eye but John took it to a whole different level.

The first time John had showed up for work drunk Bobby had sent him home and covered for him. When he went over to the house that night he found Dean trying to cook dinner and Sam crying in a dirty diaper. The second time John got pulled over for drunk driving he slugged the patrol man who tried to give him a sobriety test and screamed that he was working for “the yellow eyed demon.” The day after they took John's badge Bobby found Dean with a black eye that he wouldn't talk about and John passed out drunk.

The funny thing is that even drunk and half delusional, it was John who saved him after Karen was murdered. He had been running late after a shift and someone broke into the house. He had found Karen with a kitchen knife clutched in her hand bleeding out from the wound in her back. They never found the guy. Bobby had wanted to give up. He wanted to drink, to follow Karen to the grave. But he couldn’t. Instead he drove to check up on the boys after double shifts. He cooked them dinner and made sure that John was taking them to school. On the weekends he taught Dean how to play catch.

Sometimes John disappeared, sometimes he took the boys with him. “Hunting” was all that he would say when Bobby asked. Dean wouldn't even say that. The poor kid hadn’t talked in a year. Not that John noticed.  
John seemed to understand that he either let Bobby hang around or there would be hell to pay and Bobby tried to forget what his father had smelled like after a long day of drinking. Bobby never saw bruises on the boys after that one time but he never stopped looking.

Then things seemed to get better. John was drunk less and Dean started talking more. Sammy was learning to read and John seemed to be paying more attention to them. He started telling Bobby to go home, he'd cook dinner. On the other hand, John was also gone more and often took the boys with him. One day Bobby walked into the house only to stop cold at the sound of a gun being cocked. Dean was holding a sawed off shot gun and he was favoring his left shoulder. The way you do when your shoulder has been dislocated from handling a gun that is to big for you then popped back into place without the benefit of a doctor.

“Sorry” he muttered, “Dad said to be careful.” Bobby looked away.

John had been gone for over a week this time. The school had called asking where they were. Bobby didn't know. He put out an APB for the car and then he sat on the porch and prayed. Well prayer was the wrong word, that implied some sort of respectful asking. No, he screamed and cussed at the god who took Marry, who took Karen. The god who left Sam and Dean to the likes of him and John. Surly, if anyone was innocent those two boys were.

When the car pulled into the drive his first though was, “at lest he's not drunk, he's driving straight.” Then he looked again. It wasn't John driving.

Dean was clutching the wheel with white knuckles and Bobby had no idea how his feet had even reached the peddles. Sam was asleep in the front seat with a bruise across his cheek and a knife clutched in his small hand. Dean wouldn't look Bobby in the eye.

John was in the back seat and he couldn’t tell if the other man was passed out from alcohol or blood loss. His jacket had been shredded and there were deep bloody gouges across the man's arm and shoulder.  
Bobby looked at them – he though about the smell of booze and blood, about bruises and broken promises, about the feel of a rifle in his hands and how small Dean had looked holding a shotgun – and he made a decision. “Dean, get your brother into the house and pack a bag. You boys are staying with me tonight.”

Dean age 10 - 

When Bobby told him to go pack a bag Dean had only nodded. He picked Sammie up and took him into the house where he shook the other boy awake. “Go pack a bag Sam, we are going to spend the night with Bobby, ok?” It had taken a few minutes to get the smaller boy awake and moving but when he did Dean then crept back to the door and listened to Bobby and his father on the porch. They were shouting.

“Stupid idjit, if Mary could see you now she would knock that thick skull of yours off your damm shoulders! The hell where you thinking? And what in god's name happened to Sammy's face? If you hit him...” Bobby growled and Dean had never heard him so angry. Usually the man was quiet and calm. Helping with dinner, teaching him to care for Sammy, and telling John to go to bed when he was especially drunk. And Dad usually obeyed. No matter how bad it had been that day, something in the way Bobby looked at Dad made their father look away and mutter something about going to work in the shed. Bobby would eat with them and tell stories about dad and him catching the bad guys. He made them sound like superheros. Only instead of capes they had badges.

Dean had asked John where his badge was once. Nobody had needed to tell him to hide the bruises from Bobby the next day. Luckily they were mostly on his arm this time.

Dean heard a curse and a blow landing and peaked around the door. John had Bobby by the throat, pushed against the wall, their faces only inches apart.

“Never speak her name, you don't have the right. You failed your wife, at least I'll avenge mine.” The blow was faster that Dean's eyes could follow in the darkness and the ones after it also. Then John was on the ground and Bobby was over him. His voice deadly calm. Somehow it scared Dean more than the men that Dad had met up with on the trip, the hunters. More that when they handed him a gun and told him stay back and shoot if anything moved or they didn’t come back in an hour. More than when they came back supporting Dad and trying to stop the bleeding, more than when Sammy started crying and dad had lashed out at him.

Bobby squatted over John, one arm across his throat the other tangled in his jacket. “You go get yourself killed if you like. Chase this monster of yours into hell or drink yourself to death, I don't care. But you will not touch those boys again. I might be a piss poor excuse for a father but you and Mary made me their godfather and god knows I can't be much worse that this. They are coming with me, next time you feel like being sober you are free to come over but god help me, if you try to take them I will put you next to Mary and let her kick your ass in the next life.” He dropped John and turned to the door. Dean jumped back and turned around to see Sammy looked at him with wide eyes and a backpack hanging from his shoulder.

“Come on boys, lets go.” Dean grabbed Sammy's hand and put himself between Sammy and their father still on the ground.

\---

Life at Bobby's house was strange. The morning after (even now so many years later that's how he thinks of it. Just “after”) He put Sammy to bed then sat down next to him and waited for Dad to show up and bring them home.  
In the morning Bobby woke them up and took them to school. He heard Bobby talking to the teachers so quietly they think he doesn’t hear. Telling them lies about dad. That he's an alcoholic, that he isn't coming back. The teachers nod and look at him with pity. During lunch he slips away and hitchhikes home. Dad isn't there. Dean sits in the kitchen until Bobby comes and gets him. “Sammy misses you” is all he says. That's the patter the days follow. Sammy loves school, he's leaning to count and read big words and always wants to do his homework.

  
“Dad says homework is stupid” Dean spits at Bobby when he tries to make him write a book report.

“Well your father said a lot of things!” Bobby roars back and for a minuet Dean thinks that he'll hit him. He steps between Bobby and Sam. Bobby's eyes fall and he steps back looking everywhere except at Dean. “Balls. Go do your homework son” Bobby says and turns, walking out of the room.

  
“Will you show me how to add this up?” Sammy tugs on Dean's sleeve and presses a book into his hand. Dean looks at the problem but the page is swimming and men don't cry in front of their little brothers, men don't cry at all. “Work it out yourself bitch” he says and shoves the book back at Sammy.

The next week Dad shows up after school. He is mostly sober and he hugs Sammy. Bobby stands by the door and watches. When John gets up to leave Dean grabs Sammy's hand and follows.  
“Stay here.” That's all John says. He opens the car door. Dean opens his mouth to argue, to scream, to cry, to beg. “Take care of Sammy.” He he won't look at them. And then John closes the door and is gone.  
That night Dean steals Bobby's patrol car and drives to his old house (“his home” he thinks fiercely.) When he gets there the place is in flames and the Impala is nowhere to be found. He drives back and crawls into bed at Bobby's house. Bobby pretends that he didn't know he was gone.

  
The next day he doesn’t run away from school during recces, instead he gets sent to the principal's office for fighting. He had been smoking cigarettes with a high school freshman behind the gym. The guy bet Dean $10 that he couldn't smoke one without getting sick. When Dean didn't miss a beat (flick the lighter, long drag, blow the smoke back and give the boy a cocky wink) the kid had welched on the bet and Dean went after him.

  
When Bobby got to school he grabbed Deans chin and eyed the bruised cheek and split lip. The other kid was a foot taller and 50lbs heaver. He had a black eye and was missing two teeth. “What am I gonna do with you boy” he sighed.


	2. In the Beginning, Again

Ellen -

Tired, the kind of bone deep tired that not even sleep can fix, crawls up her spine and Ellen lets her head fall forward only to wake with a start when she hears a wail from the bedroom.  Panic grips her and she runs, images of Jo hurt, Jo dead, flashing through her brain.  She scoops the toddler up and holds her close, whispering comfort in her ear.  The child coos and calms down, whatever had disturbed  her long forgotten.  Ellen balances her daughter on one hip and walks back to the table.  The textbook is where she dropped it, pages falling open to a diagram of how to treat a spinal injury.  

“Immobilize the head and neck with whatever materials are present...”  The words blur.  Ellen thinks she can smell the blood still.  She had held his hand all the way to the hospital, unable to let go until a nurse physically pulled her away.  She had know somewhere deep inside that there was too much blood, too much damage, but it still gutted her when the doctor came out with meaningless words and empty apologies.

The car crash was an accident they said – bad weather and a caress moment – as if it made it easier to know that it was no one's fault.  She buried her husband and sold the Roadhouse.  The money would take care of her and Joanna Beth for a little while and somehow she found herself applying for scholarships and an online nursing program.  Maybe she was trying to keep someone else from going through what she had or maybe it was nothing so noble as that.  Maybe if she kept busy enough then she could forget.

There is a knock at the door and she bites back a curse.  Whoever it is she wants them to leave, she wants them to go away and let her study and grieve.  Jo starts crying again and Ellen finds herself walking to the door.

“What are you going to do with Jo when your clinicals start?”  Bobby had walked into the kitchen and fixed her a cup of tea, gruffly laughing when she tried to tell him to just pour a cup of coffee from the stove.  He handed her the tea and takes in the room – textbooks everywhere and dirty dishes stacked on the counter (the sink had long since been filled.)  

“I'll figure something out.”

“Dean got into a fight at school today.  Knocked the snot out of this kid twice his size.”  They sat at the table in silence for a long time.

The next day she packed up Jo and went over to Bobby's and cooked stew for dinner with cornbread and veggies.  She bet none of them had eaten anything green in way too long.  Sammy had asked if he could hold Jo.  She found them thirty minutes later tucked away on his bed.  He was reading her a story and Dean was sitting outside the door pretending that he wasn't listening.

\---

Sometimes it came easy – getting the kids up in the morning (not that it was easy to get Dean out of bed, or Sammy to put down his books long enough to eat, or convince Jo that, yes, she really did have to wear pants today, but it was familiar and safe) or letting Bobby know that he needed to come home early so she could get to a night shift at the hospital on time.  

Sometimes it was hard – trying to explain to her mom that no she wasn't forgetting Jo's father, no Bobby wasn't just using her for a maid, and no he was not going to “make an honest woman of her” they didn't even sleep in the same room.  

Sometimes it was impossible.  Like the first time that Sammy called her mom and Dean flew at him screaming that Sammy already had a mother.  When Bobby grabbed Dean by the shirt front and Dean turned his fury to him, adding that if it wasn't for him they'd have father too.  She had shoved Bobby off of Dean then before they hurt each other more.  Sam was frozen in place staring at Dean and Bobby, Jo was screaming, Dean had a cut lip, and Bobby – Bobby was shaking.  Shaking the way you shake before you start to scream – or cry.  

“Sam, take Jo and go to your room now.”  She didn't even recognize her voice.  “Bobby, I need some beef for dinner, get some from the store.”  “Dean go to your room until you are ready to apologize to Sam and Bobby.” no one moved, “NOW.”  Then she sat at the kitchen table for a long time and cried.


	3. Two years later

Bobby -

It took time but things got better. One night Bobby found Dean in a blanket fort with Sammy.

“She made pie and she loved to sing. She always told me that there are angels watching over us.”

“What are angels Dean?” It was easy to forget that Sam was only eight because of how smart he was.

“Angles are just stories Sammy, but don't worry I'll take care of you.”

“I don't need you!” Sammy protested.

“Yes you do, who was it who got Peter Stevens to leave you alone bitch?” So that was where Dean had gotten the bruises from. Dean was only twelve but apparently taking on the class bully (and his 15 year old brother if the black eye and dislocated jaw were any indication) was not something he felt the need to share with Bobby or Ellen. Bobby though about himself at that age and breathed a prayer of thanks that Dean was only solving his problems with fists.  
“Jerk” Sammy shot back but it would take a fool to miss how he practically worshiped his big brother. Bobby crept away from their door and went to check on Jo, who was fast asleep in her bed. It was impossible for Bobby to believe that next year she would be starting kindergarten. Ellen had a night shift so she wouldn't be back until the morning. She was the best nurse the that county hospital had (although she cuffed him with a fond smile and told him that he was biased.)

He knew people wondered about them, Rufus his new partner on the force, teased him constantly about making a few more rugrats of his own. Bobby didn't consider himself a sentimental man and he didn't have Karen's way with words. He didn't know how to explain that Dean and Sam and Jo were his but that more than anything else he wished that they never had to be. He didn't know how to explain what he and Ellen found in each other. That they were perfectly happy to raise their kids together and take turns being the anchor that kept the other from sinking when the ashes of their old lives threatened to drown them.

Bobby kissed Jo's forehead as she slept then went to bed himself.

Sam age 9 -

It bothers Sam that he can only remember bits and pieces from before Bobby brought him and Dean to live with them. He does remember the first night that they spent at the house though. It's easy to remember because it's the only time he's ever seen Dean cry. Dean tucked him into bed then sat down next to him.

“Go to sleep Sammy, Dad will be here soon” he had whispered. After a long while he had looked up and although Dean wasn't making a sound Sam saw tears rolling down his brother's face.  
He's asked Dean about it (not the tears but what happened before) but his brother (who in Sam's mind is god, albeit a rather grumpy and capricious one – as likely to call him bitch and give him a shove as to answer a question) just shrugs and turns away with a look that warns him not to ask again. Bobby is no help either, he tells Sam to go work on his homework, which is dumb as Bobby knows perfectly well that it is already finished. It's Dean who still hasn't even started his essay.

  
Sam doesn’t remember mom at all. The one time he called Ellen “mom” Dean had slapped him then attacked Bobby. Sam had stood their shaking, frozen in place, suddenly he thinking about how Dean would get between Dad and him when their father had gotten angry. Sam had been glad to take Jo and hide in his room. Much later Ellen came upstairs and brought him and Jo dinner with pieces of cake. She had held him in her lap even though he was really too big and told him that Mary, his mother, had been a wonderful woman. After a long while she left him, taking Jo to put her in her own bed for the night.

  
The next day after school Bobby picked him up and took him fishing. While they sit waiting for a bite he tells Sam about the time his father got his ass handed to him by a pretty little blond girl (then he tells Sam not to let Ellen know that he was teaching him bad words. Sam had laughed. If only they knew about the words the Dean used when they were alone!) Bobby told him how John had worked all the overtime shifts he could to buy that girl a ring. He talks bout John catching bad guys and how Mary loved to sing, even if she wasn't very good at it. Sam laughed when Bobby told him about the time that John had broken his ankle running after a goose that was attacking people in the park and how Mary had marched up to him in the hospital and gave him what for. She had informed him that if he couldn't manage to arrest a darn bird how did he hope to catch something that had thumbs?

  
“I'd never seen John at a loss for words before. I think that was the day he decided to marry her.” Sam though that Bobby looked less sad when he smiled.

  
It wasn't just Bobby who started to talk more after that. Ellen began talking about her husband who had died in a car accident. He had been Jo's father. She talked about the time he threw two drunk lumberjacks out of the bar they used to own only to have them show up for work the next week when a storm blew a tree down on the roof. She told Jo how she had his eyes and, how he cried when he first held her. Dean had piped up that he'd cry too if he had to hold Jo and Jo had smacked him. Later that day he took Sam and Jo down to the barn and showed them the rope swing he had rigged up though.

Even Dean started to talk more. Sometimes at night he would help Sam build a blanket fort and tell him about mom. That was Sam's favorite, he wished those moments could last forever. He had asked Ellen once if it was possible to stop time but she had just snorted and told him that he shouldn't read so many books.

  
Sometimes Sam thinks it's like living in a house with ghosts – all the people that only live in stories – but mostly he's glad he has Bobby and Ellen and Dean and Jo. He also has his books. He isn't sure if he wants to be a doctor like Ellen is (although she keeps trying to tell him that she is just a nurse but he knows better. Ellen is far too smart not to be a doctor.) or a detective like Bobby or the president of the U.S. He thinks that maybe Jo would make a better president and he can be her chief adviser or something and Dean can be her top general. He would like that Sam thinks, getting to tell people what to do and have a gun all the time. (Bobby and Ellen won't let Dean keep his shotgun in his room but they don't know about the two knifes he keeps under the bed.)

  
The only problem is that sometimes ghosts can still be alive. You never knew when Dad would show up. Sometimes he would be drunk and Bobby and Dad would yell at each other until he left. Other times he would stay for dinner, talking about going hunting and saying confusing things about monsters. The other adults would be very quiet and everyone would eat without saying much.

  
Dean would go all funny, stiff and tall, calling dad Sir. and looking at his boots. Sometimes Dad would stay for a little bit and take him and Dean to the back of the yard and show them how to shoot at tin cans. He would tell them to be ready because monsters might come for them. Dean always got really mean after Dad would visit and he would fight with Bobby more than usual. Sam wondered if it made him a bad person that he wished that Dad would stay just a story and stop showing up and making everyone angry. But then he though that he should be grateful since Jo never got to meet her father at all.


	4. Through Children's Eyes

Jo age 8 -

    Jo loved playing hide and seek with her big brothers.  They were faster and bigger but she was smart and knew all the best hiding places.  Of course now-a-days they didn't play much.  Dean was too busy to play with her, he was almost 16 and he spent most of his time working on cars in the barn and ignoring Mom when she tried to make him do his homework.  Jo was a big girl and tried to do her homework by herself but sometimes she got Sam to help her.  He always would even though he was 12 and a whole grade ahead of the other kids his age in school.  

    Her favorite thing to do though was watch people.  She would find the best hiding places (like under the sofa, or on the barn roof) and wait.  Bobby had given her a notebook and now she wrote down what she saw (even the things that were secretes like the time she saw Dean kissing a boy behind the barn.  He had seen her that time and instead of yelling at her like she was afraid he would, he had been really nice and promised to play with her if she didn't tell anyone.  She had crossed her heart and felt very grown up.  Besides who cared if you kissed someone?  The people on TV did it all the time.)

    One night she had been playing in the barn after bed time because both Bobby and Mom were at work, and Sam was at a friend's place and, Dean was supposed to be watching her but he was gone too, so she was all alone when she saw John drive up.  She didn't want to talk to him at all.  Jo understood that John was Sam and Dean's father but she didn't like him much (privately she didn't think that Sam did either.)  He was loud and often said mean things to Bobby or Sam and smelled like Dean had the time that he came home late and both mom and Bobby had yelled at him for a long time.

    So she had watched him park the big black car and then stand beside it looking at the house for a long time.  Then he had taken something out of his pocket and turned and walked away, down the drive and past the mailbox.  After she was sure that he was gone she had ran to the house and crawled into her bed hoping that Mom or Dean would come home soon.

    The next day everyone found the car and Jo was afraid that they would be angry with her for not talking to John and telling him to stay but nobody even looked at her.  Dean had a funny look on his face and Mom put her arm around Sam and held him close like she did the time that she had come home crying because Sally Adams told her that her father was dead and that meant she must have done something bad (Mom had been angry then too, and she had talked with Sally's mother and it was embarrassing but Sally never bothered her again.)

    Then Bobby said a bad word (so bad that she couldn't even write it in her book!) and Mom had scolded him and Sam had picked her up and told her that she was his favorite little sister.

    “I'm your only sister!” she had squealed as he swung her around.

    Later that day she saw Dean walking to the car and she had begged to come along.  After a minute he nodded and she jumped in beside him.  He turned on the radio and didn't say anything as they drove.  After a while they stopped at the cemetery where her father and Dean's mother were sleeping.  They walked until they came to the stone that said “Marry Winchester” and then some other words that were longer and didn't make scene (Mom had told her once that they were from an old song.) and Dean sat down.  Jo wandered around for a little while, visiting Dad and some of the other stones, but eventually she came back to Dean.  He had that funny look on his face again and wouldn't look at her so she sat down next to him and put her head on his shoulder.

    After a little bit he put his arm around her and she could feel that he was shaking.  They sat like that for a long, long time.  Just when her leg was starting to get pins and needles he leaned forward and put a small embroidered flag down on the stone.  

    “What's that?” Jo asked.

    “Dad's patch from his army jacket.”  Jo nodded like she understood but she really didn't.  If it was John's why wasn't it with him?  Why was everyone so sad today?  When Dean put the patch down she saw the piece of paper that he had been holding.  It only had one line on it.  It said, _“Take care of Sammy.”_  It wasn't signed but she guessed that John had written it.  They walked back to the car then and on the way home Dean had sung along to the songs on the radio.  Her favorite was something about tiger's eyes, she liked it because Dean waved his hands and made funny voices when he sang along.

    That night Jo though about Mom telling her stories before bed and teaching her how to bandage cuts (the next time Dean had scraped his knuckles she insisted on putting a bandage on them.  Dean had grumbled but let her.)  She though about Bobby's shiny gold badge and how he put bad guys in jail and taught her to cook eggs.  Sam who was teaching her how to climb the really big trees and how he would help her read the newspaper at breakfast.  She though about the time Dean let her help change a tire and when he lets her hand him car tools as he works.  In her book Jo writes “I love my family.”


End file.
